On Movies and My Opinions

I’ve recently found that I judge my self-worth, in an albeit small amount, on my taste in movies. It’s something I’m very protective of, and something that is routinely challenged. I am extremely naïve, to the extent that I can directly trace a large portion of my opinions to the specific people I heard them from to begin with. I try my best to avoid hearing reviews for movies until I’ve seen them, but with the mainstream films that make up at least half of my viewing habits, it’s often impossible. Even in the cases when I manage to keep my blinders up for long enough, there’s still every likelihood that something I read or hear about that movie will change my own opinion of it. It’s an instant switch, and I can tell when it’s happening, which is particularly frustrating.

The enjoyment I get out of watching movies involves doing as little thinking as possible. That, on the face of it, would be a nightmare for me, but actually comes as a relief. It is one of only a few art forms that I feel allows for a purely visceral, emotional experience, which is what I constantly seek. While watching a movie, I’ll periodically peer into my emotional state of mind – am I happy, do I feel nervous for the character, or a sense of righteousness and justice served? Those times, when I take stock of these personal reactions are what lend to both a positive film experience and a more concrete, sure opinion. I’ll give some examples. Eighth Grade is a fairly recent film from a hero of mine, Bo Burnham. I can quite convincingly say that few, if any of the emotions I experienced watching it, and its awkward protagonist, Kayla, were positive. I still value that it was intentionally able to make me feel like that so strongly. Another recent film, Knives Out, fills me with the utmost sense of justice for its protagonist, coupled with brilliant tension, drama and comedy, all coming together to evoke a particularly powerful emotional response from me.

This week has a lot going on for me. Every day, I have to pack and write this blog and deal with other, fringe commitments that keep popping up. But, equally, every day I go and watch movies, something I do as often as I can, in search of those feelings that fill me. It’s hit or miss, and I definitely spend way too much money on it as a hobby, but I don’t regret it at all. I see it as a fact-finding mission. And yes, some part of me can overhype its significance as a habit because it ‘helps me understand what narrative and filmic techniques can evoke such responses in audiences’, but that’s only part of the puzzle, and just a particularly beneficial side-effect. My opinions, which I routinely force onto my friends and loved ones, are so malleable and impressionable, but in my pursuit of films that move me, all I can do, really, is hold onto the faith that there is always something better out there to see.